


Searching for the Purpose

by Pudding_Cake



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, modern reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28640322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pudding_Cake/pseuds/Pudding_Cake
Summary: "Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself"«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»Building her life on the expectations of others was something she'd done for years.Once a few years back she wanted to be looked at. Now, she suffers the consequences of having eyes on her. Her only way to get away from their prying eyes to play the part that was shoved into her arms.She doesn't want to be the shining star anymore. She just wants others to stop looking at her.«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»
Relationships: Fay D. Fluorite/Reader
Kudos: 10





	Searching for the Purpose

_She never understood the significance of an opinion._

It was indeed true she knew what it meant: having a view formed about something. However, she never had her own opinion. She simply followed with what the majority believed, not questioning their choices. It was something she's done for years. She's never the first one to answer the question first. Observing others would be much more pleasing to her. When asked when she was alone, she simply said words of another. It often seemed to please the one who asked, so she continued to do it.

_Many have called her selfless._

It was odd. How could someone like herself be selfless? She was selfish. She wanted their attention for a long time. Once the opportunity was presented to her, she snatched it as quickly as she could. Now that she has it, she's pleased with herself. Yet, she often ponders as to why her heart aches each time they praise her. It was what she wanted, yet why did she cry when they asked her for more? She wanted to live this life.

_Their eyes weren't always watching._

There used to be a time where their burning gazes were on someone else. She envied them. They always turned away from her. She was never the one they glanced at, but she understood why. She wasn't gifted. No matter how hard she would try, they'd simply kept their gaze in another direction. Once they found that their gift become worn out, they finally began to look at her.

_She finally has them looking at her._

It felt nice to finally have them look at her for more than a minute. Her skills weren't as great as the gifted one, but she frantically attempted to catch up with them. Anything that she was mediocre at, she taught herself to surpass her limits. Nothing mattered to her during these times. All she wanted was to be praised over and over again by them. It didn't matter that her hands or feet went numb; it didn't matter if dark circles began to form. It would all be worth keeping their gaze on her forever. Their eyes were always expecting her to do her best.

_And that's exactly what she did._

Surpassing what she believed their expectations were far more satisfying than she had ever thought. Yet, it wasn't enough for them. What she believed her best was average to others. That's right. She wasn't the gifted one. She was someone who wanted that position. It was only then that she realized that she only thought of herself. It was the first time she realized something. She was being selfish.

_Now it burns._

It was like someone lit her on fire. Their gazes weren't close to the warmth she believed them to be. She tried her best to tame the flames, but they just got larger as time flew by. She couldn't ask anyone as to why it pained her. It would only mean she was being selfish again. Many others were doing far worse than herself, so she shouldn't bother anyone with her thoughts. She was told that she should grateful for what she has now, and she truly is. 

_Why does it leave a bitter taste in her mouth?_

She was now the one they praised. Yet, every time she did something unfavorable, they always go back to praising the gifted one. Why would they praise the one who disappointed them? Why would they berate her when she was doing far better than the gifted one? These questions always swirled throughout her mind. For years and years, these thoughts always came back. However, she believes she knows why it kept coming back. It was something even she came to terms with long ago. 

_The gifted one was the true selfless one. As for her, she would aways be the selfish one._


End file.
